A journey by the dark side

[Simple Tania]

CHAPTER 6

 
And so, after many and many adventures, twists and turns, hours and hours of fun, including sadism, masochism, psychological violence and of course, sex, always there, always the main ingredient, that made me come back (and still does) for more, we have come to an end to my journey by the dark side. To conclude my "trip", I kept the two most remarkable stories, one in the negative, by far the one I liked the least to participate, and the other for the positive ("positive" because the intensity of the DARK) the one that disturbs me most, psychologically and even physically I must say.
 
 - The worst story of my journey, was undoubtedly THE AUCTION, let's clarify one thing first, all underlying this subject frightens me, the sellers, the buyers, the auctioneers, even the passive spectators...the all idea terrified me, so it's not surprising that I postpone that "experience" the far as I could. When the day finally came I thought I was ready for it, I went to the appointed place, took my place as a "seller" and wait, only, things start to went wrong...someone was trolling the place, spamming and annoying everyone, for that reason, the auctioneers decided to move the auction to a private VIP Room, where I took, again, my place as a seller (in one room) while the auctioneers and the buyers occupied the living room, and...the circus began.
One by one, the sellers were called to the living room, where describes themselves and said what they were willing to do, while I waited and watched everything carefully, and what I realized is that the buyers, in general, don't like RP, they want a "pushbutton", if the "seller" is a premium with or without premium poses, worth a fortune, even if she can't articulate two words, so, as for that moment I stop acting quietly and start acting like myself.
I simply took that place for my own, acting with the others sellers, acting with the auctioneer (a very good friend) when I was called and even with a buyer (another friend) giving her a lap dance in front of all the quiet buyers, so, what you think about that as an introduction? a good one, right? WRONG, the general population of buyers, as I suspected, hate it, they feel totally intimidated, and no way, they will spend their precious money on a "person with such an attitude", OK, let's clarify this also, I DON'T DO IT FOR THE MONEY, but it hurt me the way my auction took place, I can't denied, all that awkward silence, as there "you were deserving" "you don't belong in here" "you are not one of us"... and so, my auction ended with me *bowing* and leaving the room, saying to my buyer (also, a good friend) that I pay him in double the money he spend...WORST EXPERIENCE EVER!!!
 
 - The final story, the best and simultaneously the worst remarkable experience...but first I have to tell you all four things:
 FIRST - I will not spare the details, so I apologize, but it's necessary for the total understanding;
 SECOND - It was my idea, after the "tentacles monster" I specific ask for this and even set the scenario;
 THIRD - I thought I was ready for it, I wasn't..., my partner was so good and credible, that scares the hell out of me;
 FOURTH - When it's over, he told me that he have "regulars" for that kind of RP, the only difference is that they took pleasure of it, as opposite to me, in his words - "I know this because I notice when they start to write with one hand and some even greet me by reaching an orgasm";
 I was speechless after that confession, I let you all be the judge of that...
 
"- I was doing the cleaning of my house when suddenly someone knocks at my door, I asked who was there, and a voice rough and hoarse reply saying he had a package for my husband and that I need to sign the order, reluctantly, I open the door, and when I did I took a kick in the belly that made me fall back, I try to recover, but he was already on top of me, I look at him, a tall man with a fierce expression and expressionless eyes looking straight at me, I was terrified, try to scream, try to get rid of him, but it was needless, I was completely at his mercy.
And then the all thing started, as revenge against my husband for his dismissal, he raped me, in a sadistic and cruel way, he forced me to my knees and shoved his cock into my mouth, threatening me with a knife next to my neck, calling me names and slapping my face. As more I resist more violently he becomes and deeper and faster his cock was pushed against my throat, until I couldn't stand no more and vomited, which earned me a beating so bad, I ended up passing out.
When I regained consciousness, was tied to the bed, completely naked, with him standing, laughing, passing the knife slowly in my face, telling me that first I have to clean his cock and then he will take care of my ass. I went into panic, I cried, I asked for help and even tried to negotiate, which earned me another beating that took my breath away, and worse, earned me the first of his sadistic punishments...a cut, a deep cut on one of my arms and even made me choose which one, I beg, I cry, said that I do what he want, but it was hopeless, I had to choose or he cut both of my arms...the pain was such that I almost fainted and he taking advantage shove his dirty cock inside my mouth as he showed me the knife covered with my blood.
Bringing together the remaining forces that still had, I resisted, tried to take his cock of my mouth, resisting the impulse of vomit again, tried to drop me...a huge blow to my ribs ended it, followed by the second punishment, another impossible choice, now between my left or right leg, I begged, I cried, I asked forgiveness, all in vain, when he cuts me for the second time I blacked out.
Wake up confused, I saw him, I heard him, but I couldn't feel anything, he slaps me, he punches me, he describes the horrible things that he would do to me if I stay like that, but...nothing, I was an empty shell, my mind wanders, regardless of what he did to my body, that limbo took about five minutes, gradually, I began to become aware and when he realized that, was time for the final step of his revenge.
With me powerless and defeated he wasted no more time and start fucking my ass, savagely, howling, saying that I was a whore, that i was loving it and wanted me to tell him that...I want to tell him that, I sincerely want, I have no more strengths left, but I couldn't, the words simply don't come out, and because of that, the third punishment, another choice, right nipple or left nipple, I try to yell, to scream, nothing come out, and the countdown...5 (right) 4 (no, left) 3 (please don't) 2 (pleeeeaseee) 1 RIGHT!!, I scream....and the last thing I saw, was my nipple, ripped out, bloody, close my eyes, feel his strokes, his hands around my neck, choking me...feel the last breath and thank the lord to finally take me away -"

As an addend to the final story, I present to you the "other side of the coin", written by my partner and send it to me by private messenger. It's with enormous pleasure that I post his version of the events. *Kisses and hugs*

"This was the hardest role-play I've ever done. Not the most violent. Not the most creepy. Not the one with the greatest break of taboo. Very, very much the hardest. Normally my focus is on my partners pleasure. Ensuring that they get what they want from the scenario, that I really make them happy. This time it was different. I've never done a role-play with someone who didn't like what was happening before. I think I found a line I don't want to cross again.

The scenario started and, for me, as for her, there was nothing sexual to it. I was performing, on stage, in character. As I usually do I lost myself in the role and let the scene evolve as it would. She was an excellent partner, as always. Responsive, intelligent, brave. I won't describe the details, there is no need. I will say that I was not only going for physically disturbing, but psychologically also. I'm pretty good at it by all accounts. Finding the way to make someone react. About halfway through we paused. She needed to rest. I did too to be fair. I was stressed, a little scared, quite tired. We talked out of character for a moment. I got a drink.

Then we returned. I almost stopped. I wanted to, offered to. She asked me to continue, to do what she wanted and, as I always do, I complied. I inhabited the role once more, removed my inhibitions and did my best to make her feel the scene. To taste the pain and the horror. At the end, I was emotionally exhausted, fraught and terrified I had hurt an important friendship. We stood around for a while and comforted each other. I made sure to let her know what a special person she is. That was easy, because its true. I hope it helped.

We talked a little about other partners. People who like this sort of play. Some of them wonderful and dear. I tried to convey that the feeling in such an encounter is totally different to that which we had just experienced. For each moment of discomfort, fear and hurt my partner had felt the others felt joy, understanding, ecstasy. This unnerved her even more I think. We talked more, until we were both a little calmer then left. Afterwards I went to talk to my friend and confidant. Told them of what had happened, how I feared I had hurt the dear author of this thread. I took solace in the fact that this was requested, consented, at least on some level desired. Although for reasons as foreign to me as those of my other partners are to her.

I admire you my friend, your bravery, your skill, your self knowledge. I take from this encounter as best I can the positive. I grew to know you better and in so doing I gained much. As you yourself have said this is not an experience I would choose to repeat. I think I finally found a boundary. And so, shaken still, my self knowledge grows. I thank you for that, my dear dear friend.”

(Epilogue on Page 18)