Learn to roleplay / learn to do it better.

[Emmie]

Yeah, in roleplaying, it's better to not take charge of the other person, I definitely agree with that. Sure, you can describe what they feel, like the heat of your breath against their ear because it relates to your action. If I want to push a scenario in a certain direction, half the fun for me, is to roleplay it in a way that possibly might get me what I want, which is so much more satisfying than doing it for them. If I wanna be spanked for example, I don't wanna roleplay them spanking me, I wanna roleplay in a way that makes them wanna spank me, in turn giving me what I want in a way that can't even be compared to if I did it myself.
And sure, it's not gonna be perfect, I'd argue nothing ever is. But a decent roleplay together with someone else is still far better than a perfect roleplay done on your lonesome.