Moderators, and what you (always) wanted to know about them

[Emmie]

My only issue with calling this rape requires some explanation I think. First of all, let's look at the definition of rape. It is when someone is forcefully penetrated, without consent, (oral, anal, vaginal) by a penis or other object, with physical violence, coercion or abuse of authority. Of course, this can vary slightly depending on culture, but it does cover the definition of rape fairly well. By this definition, raping someone online is impossible, because it requires physical penetration.

What I do believe can happen online, is sexual harassment. Any form of physical sexual harassment is already out, because it can't be implemented online. But then we have, for example, coercion. If someone is coercing you into virtual sex or submission in any form, via blackmail (have compromising pictures of you, knows where you live, has other personal information etc) or other forms of threats that can be proven, it is definitely something we would take action against. We also have abuse of authority, which I only really see as something a moderator could potentially cause in this case, or possibly larger groups with peer pressure, where you could potentially fear for your place in this community unless you comply. These are just the two examples I could think of, but basically, any situation where someone is trying to take away your freedom of choice and force you into anything (not just sexual activities tbh) is not ok.

I see a lot of mentions of "rape play" or "rape roleplay" and connections made to actual rape. But technically and practically, "rape play" has nothing to do with actual rape, it shouldn't even be called "rape play" because it involves consenting adults who act out a scenario where one part leaves all control to the other. I think a large issue is that people call it rape play, and make connections to rape, when the two are vastly different. There are about as many kinks as there are people, but in this case, there are things like humiliation, domination, submission, mild violence and such, that some people enjoy in controlled situations.

Now, as I said before, I can't speak for all the cases, cause it really does depend case by case. What was said? What was done? Did it stop? How did it start? How did it end? All these things matter, and there is no "one frame for all" solution.

In my prior post, I was talking about the comment "The guy literally said that he was RUBBING HIS COCK on her.". If she puts him on ignore, and he moves on, the problem was solved. If she put him on ignore and he decides to harass her over it, there's definitely a serious issue and a moderator needs to get involved. This is not a personal stance on people initiating with sexual roleplay. I am not a fan, but if they accept a no, and move on, leaving you alone. I don't see why a moderator has to get involved.

If someone abuses, harasses, stalks or even insults, I can understand wanting them to be told off. But not everyone who approaches with sexual roleplay is out to "harm" your experience in the game. They just wanna have fun, and if they're told no, they will understand and move on. We are all adults here, that's my assumption until proven otherwise, and we should be able to resolve things like this with communication (or ignore button, it's what it was made for).

This thread has been locked for now due to the rise in hostility and aggression. If you have any comments or issues with what I've said, feel free to politely direct them to my PM, and I will respond as soon as I can.