10-30-2017, 11:30 PM
(10-28-2017, 04:11 PM)Fernins Wrote: Hello, here again for another piece. This one is more on the erotic side, I have been feeling a bit horny lately, so I came up with this "story". Tell me if you like it or not, maybe I'll try to do this ones more often.
Was a long, stressful, hard day
Lots of meetings, report deliveries and such
Had to stay a few more hours on that desk without even a break
I wanted to speak to you and hear your voice
But I didn't had the time
So I just text you saying I'm going to be late
And finally the day was over
I drove home, feeling exausted
But when I arrived you where there waiting
Dressing nothing more than that arousing, appealing purple lingerie
Throwing yourself in my arms, pressing me against the wall
And giving me a deep, wet, lustful and long kiss
I was so taken by that kiss, I didn't care about anything else not even the day I had before. So I grabed and raised one of your legs, resting it on my shoulder, while I proceed to rub your panties and give you a lustful kiss.
You, on the other hand start squeezing and making an up-down motion on my bulge, getting me ready and hard, I couldn't help but to release a moan of pleasure, while sliding your panties and giving your now wet pussy, two fingers which causes you to moan slightly and arch your back a bit.
Now I just felt the need of you, of your body on mine so I pick you up by the waist, to the point where my hard cock serves as a support right below your pussy. I keep trusting my cock between your legs while carrying you and kissing, while you grab my head and press it against your sweaty tits, making me more aroused, hard and craving for your curvy body.
We reached our room and I could bearely make to the bed when you forced me to fall on it. This time you took charge, grinding, teasing my cock with in and out motions. But you didn't finished there, you smothered me by feeding my mouth with your dripping juicy pussy and you knew I loved it.
(continue --> ?)
Nice job, but if you want an honest critique I would offer you the following. Your writing style, at least in this post feels hurried, or rushed. May i suggest you take time to set the stage more, build up to the sex parts, paint more of a visual as to give the reader as much detail as possible. It's a fine line from being creative and over doing it, find the balance and you got a winner. Never stop writing !! Good job.