Confessions of a Particular Kind: The Heartbreaker

[RP_RICK]

Thats was quite something indeed
Great entry!

[Jackhole]

Oh Cuy you sure do have a way with words

[Sate]

Very nicely done Cuylie! I can't wait t read more. I have always been a fan of your words. AT first I thought this was real (maybe it is still?) Fabulous story though

[MariaT]

Hello Cuylie, I Just Love your confession, what an amazing and well written story, I have to admit that I felt a little wet after I read it, and that's not say few, 'cause im very used to 'live' that kind of adventures, very impressive!

[SimplyNate]

Cuylie...i don't know why it took me so long to read it.. Simply amazing.. Beautifully written.. And if you didn't know I'm SimplyNate...i love it.. Omg

[Cynthia]

Holy Shit... How long did that take you to write/type?!

[Cath]

Mmh... I guess it's about two days, if written all day.

[Cuylie]

I have a confession to make.  I know, pretty obvious Cuylie, but this isn’t THE confession, it is a confession that will allow you to understand the significance of THE confession.  Anyways, so I have a confession to make.  First, I need to tell you about my best friend, Anna (not her real name, there are some of you who will read this, who know it and I appreciate your confidence).  I have known her since I was 15.  She moved here from over overseas and we met in high school.  She pretty much stood out with her Indian heritage and the accent of her Guyana Creole.  I also didn’t really fit in, but the long and short of it, we became fast friends.

Anna and I are opposites.  Where I’m fair skinned, hers is a dark brown.  She has dark black hair; while I have red.  I’m short, she is tall, standing at around 5’8”.  Where I tend towards curves, she is lean.  She is outgoing and can command the center of a room with ease; while I hang to the sides and tend to avoid large gatherings.  Her emotions are like wild fire, quick to burn and then run out.  Me, I tend to move like a river with deep whirlpools that can suck you in.

We both have a love for life and well, there wasn’t any kind of trouble that the other wouldn’t at least get involved in.  I think that was what first brought us together; our love of adventure.  We found in the other someone we can trust when things went wrong.  We have been there through our family troubles.  I’ve been there for her breakups and she for mine.  It happens more than I would like, because, sadly, Anna has a horrible taste in men.  To be fair though, she would say I have horrible a taste in women.  

I came out as bisexual first to Anna.  I was 17.  I was scared.  I had my first crush.  It will be many years before I came out to my family and the rest of the world.  Anna was the first to know.  I was staying over at her house and we were talking.  I didn’t mean to say it, but, it was just us, it was late and it just kind of came out.  There was this moment of silence.

Then I kissed her.
 
I kissed her like I have never kissed someone in my young life before.  It was with all the passion I could muster, it was deep and it felt like a wonderful eternity.  I thought my heart would explode from my chest.  This moment and the one right after is why I think I love Anna so very much.  She returned the kiss very tenderly.  She listened tell me about the feelings I had for her very attentively.  So there it is, in this moment the first person I came out too, my first kiss with another woman, and my first crush with another woman are all one in the same.

She was very kind in how she let me down.  It was gentle, full of love and respect.  She didn’t let it change our friendship.  I don’t have words for the depth of my gratitude that I have towards her.  I still have my crush on her, I still love her deeply.  This would come up again several times during our friendship.  It was never awkward and she has always spoken to me with kindness in her eyes and compassion in her heart.  There it is, the confession I needed to make, I have a crush on my best friend, Anna.  I mean just the other day –

My cellphone interrupts my thoughts as it begins the ring.  The pink and white striped plastic case vibrates atop my counter.

I suppose, I should answer that, so I can get onto the actual confession.  I grab the phone…

The Heartbreaker

A Cuylie Confession

“Anna!  Hey, I was just thinking about you!”

“Hallo!”  Her musical tone comes clearly through the digital audio waves, “are you ready for tonight gurly gurl?”
I have always loved the sound of Anna’s voice.  With its little almost British accent, the way certain words roll off her tongue; like how she drops the “er” sound at the ends of words and replaces it with an “a”, like instead of “river” it’s “riva”.

I know she can hear my smile with my words, “Heck yeah, I’m ready to get out and groove to some music.”  (God, I’m such an idiot.)

“Cuylie Bear, I’ll be there in a few, bye, bye, bye!”

“Bye.”  I hang up the phone and go back to my closet to pick something to wear.  I’m an active kind of person and I’m always on the move, so, I like things that flow.  I end up with a yellow sun dress and slip it on, it will go nicely with my dark green…Yes, you know what, I don’t think people have come to read about my outfit selection, suffice it say I found something light and airy for a summer evening out in the city.

I hear Anna pull up in her convertible, the music already thrumming from her car.  I don’t give her the chance to get to the door and bound outside, meeting her on the drive way with a hug and a happy little laugh.

Anna looks down at me, “Well my Cuylie Bear is in a wonderful mood today, what has you all hummin’ about?”

“Oh, last day of school and all, I’m on Summer Break!”

“Well Miss School’s Out,” Anna hands me the keys to her car, “You get to drive since you get to party the rest of the week, Fridays are for us working stiffs.”

We quickly head to downtown and our nightly ritual of Anna-is-newly-single begins.  She starts off complaining about her ex, Jeremy, who is, by all accounts, a total creep.  I have to be honest to you, this ritual we had is nothing new.  I mean, if it wasn’t Jeremy; it would have been Taylor, or Jordan, or Ahmed or…I think you get the picture.  My role right now is to agree.  To punctuate each angry hurt sentence with concern and understanding.

It doesn’t take us long to get to downtown Minneapolis with the car stereo blaring and both of us singing horribly along.  We find a place to park.  It is a beautiful evening to be outside.  It had the summer heat of the day, with the cool breeze of dusk to just take that little edge off.  Anna, in her tight leather pants and white top, strides along the side walk with a little roll to her step.  Me, I flit about her kind of bouncing along and chattering about the weather and various other topics, sometimes beside her, other times ahead, and them sometimes lagging behind.

Anna knows the club she wants to go to tonight, and moves like a lioness on the prowl.  I can see that she is ready to make her next bad decision.  I just wanted to loosen up and move around.  Just to spend the night dancing horribly and not caring one iota.  It doesn’t take us long to get into one of Anna’s favorite clubs.  We find a booth and get our usual drinks to loosen up.

I take in the sounds, feeling the sweet burn of liquor as it passes down my throat.  I can feel the base thrumming through me.  The warmth of the alcohol begins to make me tingle a bit, to relax and unwind.  Anna has different thoughts, she takes in the sights.  She begins to hum in tune with the energy of the place, watching various specimens of masculinity as they pass by our table; a predatory gaze taking in our own femininity.  They don’t know Anna like I do, she’s really the hunter here.

“Come on gurly gurl,” Anna grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor, to dive into the churn.  I was adrift the heavy current of music, sweat, heat and flesh.  It was either to sink or swim.  I chose to swim.  The music moves through me and I dance to its current.  My dress whirls about me as I twist my hips.  The sweat on my skin glistens beneath the flashing lights.  The thrumming base moves something almost primal deep inside of me, the vibrations of the beat and the tingling of the liquor driving me to twirl faster and in wilder circles.

Anna’s arm encircle me from behind, the heat of her body is unmistakable. She presses herself against my back, leaning down to my ear.  Her voice is a whisper, barely audible over the sound of music.  It still teases me, causing tingles down the back of my neck, “Cuylie Bear,” she purrs, “let’s go break some hearts.”

Now I know Anna is hunting.  She, well, she has this “thing” she likes to do, this game she likes to play.  She doesn’t have a problem drawing eyes when she wants to.  That isn’t usually an issue, but sometimes, she like to up the ante a bit; to really get attention she decides to “break some hearts.”  It is something she likes to do when she is getting over a breakup.  What it is, she takes me out to the dance floor, we dance together and then we kiss.  This draws the attention of certain people in the bar, she selects the one she likes best and goes “away” with him.

Her arms tighten a bit as she slides around me.  I can’t help but be aware of the move of her lithe muscles against me as I struggle to keep thoughts completely platonic.  There she is, now in front of me, her forearms resting atop my shoulders, her forehead pressed against mine.  I rest my hands upon her waist and the music kind of slows down.  There we are, I can feel the heat of her body, and I can smell the mixture of her sweat and the vodka on her breath.  We move together, her muscles slithering in a sultry sway beneath the touch of my hands on her hips as she rocks back and forth.  I also begin to undulate, gyrating my hips to the slow steady beat.
 
I become even more aware of her breathe when she closes the distance between us.  Her elbows suddenly upon my shoulders, causing her to lean in more against me.  Her fingers curling and playing with my long hair.  I look up at her face, into her eyes.  I see things I have seen before.  I see the playful energy in them, the sharp intelligence and the hunger.  I’ve never seen it fully turned on me though.  It was always someone else, but she is staring directly into my eyes.

Anna presses her lips against my mouth.  It isn’t like the usual teasing kisses.  Well, it starts that way, but it changes.  Her encircled arms tighten and she presses her hands against the back of my head, pushing me hard against her mouth.  My lips bruise beneath the pressure, parting slightly.  I can taste her breath, sweet and warm, more intoxicating than the liquor I have drank tonight.  The pressure of her body against mine gives me an even greater appreciation of her curves than I had before.  My own arms wrap around her slender waist and press against her back; trying to pull her closer into me.

It couldn’t be like this forever.  These kind of kisses aren’t meant to be forever, even though we want them too.  They can’t, because they are promises, promises require change, but they also bring fulfillment.  I understood this when her lips left mine.  It still hurt, to no longer taste her, to be a close to her.  Then her lips are against my ear.  Softly brushing against my lobe as she speaks in a low, tantalizing whisper, “Let’s go…”

My perception of time is really loose at this point.  We run from the booming base and flashing lights, our hands holding the other.  We left the heat of the club and go into the cool night air.  I had the keys and I was fumbling with them at the door of her car.  Anna would have none of that.  She grabs me by my shoulders and presses me up against the hood of her red convertible, bending me backwards.  Her lips press against mine with a ferocious intensity with her hands pulling at my hair.  My own hands go to her ass, grabbing her, and pressing her up between my thighs; with my sundress hiked about my own hips.

As suddenly as she was there, she leaves.  Her teeth nipping at my lower lip with a sharp little bite, causing a gasp to leave my lips.  Her eyes have taken on this hungry intense look when I meet them with my own gaze.  If we weren’t on a public street, I think she would have fucked me right then and there.

I know I wanted her too.

Instead, something clicks in my brain, and I am able to dig the keys out of my purse.  With trembling hand I unlock the car with a little beep and climb in.  I can’t really say much about the drive to her house.  It was a drive born of desperation.  I didn’t want time to kill this fragile moment established between Anna and I.  I’m pretty sure that I broke several traffic laws in getting to Anna’s driveway.

I do remember my hand in hers.  Our frantic run to the door, with the accompanying giggles.  My trembling hand jiggle the keys into the lock, and by some miracle, I manage to do so without scratching the door.  We fall into the foyer, door hitting the wall with a loud crack.  I thought we broke some of the drywall (we didn’t).  Anna slams the door shut behind us with the kick of her heel, something falls off the shelf in the adjoining room, but she didn’t mind.

Instead, she grabs me and presses me up against the door of her closet hard.  My head hits it, but, well I ignore the dull ache as she lifts me off my feet lightly.  Anna lips devour mine, her tongue invades my mouth, pressing against my own.  My legs hook around her waist, I can feel her sliding my dress up my thighs, bunching it above my hips again.  Her hands grip my ass, pressing me tighter against the door.  My own go up and cup the back of her neck, my fingers in her long black hair.

Our kissing is savage, a decade’s worth of need driving us both on.  Her tongue wrestles around mine as we exchange our passionate breath.  The door creaks with the pressure of her body against mine as the hunger of our kiss continues.  Our tongues dance between our mouths, our lips bruise the other from the intensity of our passion, our need.  Anna’s closet door makes another noise, a creak echoed with a faint crack.  It is enough for a little bit of rationality to sneak through and we break our kiss.

I drop my feet to the floor with Anna’s hands still on the hem of my dress.  My eyes meet hers again and she begins to lift the dress up the length of my body.  I raise my arms, arching myself a bit as she slides the fabric off and over my head.  She takes a moment to whip it through the air towards the living room.  I can feel the fabric of her clothes when she leans in for a brief kiss, and then spins me around, walking me out of the foyer and into the aforementioned living room.

Anna’s lips press against my neck, nibbling softly on my tender flesh.  Her hands deftly undo the strap of my bra.  The fabric floats to the floor as my breasts are freed, my pink nipples puckering in the cool air.  Her mouth continues to kiss at the junction between my neck and shoulder.  Her hands going to my full breasts and cupping them, letting her fingers roam about the delicate flesh of my nipples.  My lips part with another whimper, my back arches as I reach behind me to run my fingers through her black hair again.  Her hands don’t stay on my breasts for long, they slide down my taut stomach; brushing gently at my skin.  

The thumbs of her hands hook about the bands of my panties.  She trails little kisses down my arm as she bends a bit, slipping the fabric over the curve of my hip.  I can feel my underwear slide down the length of my legs and around my hips.  I take the moment to turn around and step back; letting her see my nudity in the dim light.  We have seen each other naked before, but never with this intention, with this intensity.

I let her take in the full length of my nudity and bared arousal.  From the dilation of my pupils, the rise and fall of my breasts with each excited breath, to the dampness of my red haired mound between my slender thighs.  Anna keeps her hungry gaze upon mine.  Her lips parting with each passionate breath.  She draws her blouse up her torso.  Again, I have seen her naked before; I have seen her lost in the…wait, pause that thought, this is something else for another time, but this is the first time that I have been able to look upon her with this kind of intensity.

I can’t help but to stare, to drink in the reveal of her dark brown skin, a testament to her Indian heritage.  Anna is slimmer than me, leaner and lankier.  I can see that in the shape of her sides and in the flatness of her stomach as she arches her back, sliding her tight shirt over the curves of her breasts.  I can see the white lace of her bra as the shirt slides higher up.  Anna makes a little laugh, her teasing laugh, but it sounds like so much more to me right now.  My heart pounds inside my chest, threatening to rise up my throat.

She tosses the shirt through the air, catching me around my face, blinding me from the wondrous vision.  I can only hear her laughter.  Her excited breathing.  The frantic swishing sounds of cloth against flesh.  I pull the shirt from my face, smelling the combined smell of her sweat, perfume and fabric softener.  My feelings of friendship, of love and lust, beginning to cause my stomach to flutter with excitement.  Anna is before me, naked and… time stops and speeds up all at the same time.

I drink in the vision of her nudity as if I was parched for something that I have always been thirsting for.  Her dark hair tumbles down her lithe shoulders, curling about her brown skin, the straight bangs frames her face perfectly.  We can’t stay apart and meet by her white couch, touching, kissing pressing our naked forms together.

She moves down onto the sofa and I move up over her.  There is this moment, a big moment.  A moment that dwarfs all the others.  Our eyes meet, with my smaller body astride hers, and we both realize what is about to happen.  My hand tentatively and gently caresses her cheek, my fingers brushing some hair away with a feathery softness.  I can feel her breathing increase.  I can see the passion at war with the uncertainty in her gaze.

“Please,” Anna whispers huskily, “please Cuylie bear…show me.”

Anna’s dark mocha skin has a sort of flush to it again and I lean down and kiss her lips.  But…Anna, you dear readers and I, all feel that I have spent enough time there.  I begin my intimate exploration of Anna’s body.  I drag my lips down her chin and take little licks along her jaw line.  Her mocha skin is a prefect contrast with the white couch.  My lips continue their journey as I work my way down her throat.  I can feel the vibrations of her soft moans rumbling through, as I continue to nip and touch.

The silky smoothness of her skin slips against my own, as I move my nude body down her length; with my hands stroking the fine dark hair on her forearms.  My mouth continues its trail of kisses along her collar bone, then downwards towards the valley of her pert breasts.  I can taste the salty sweat of her skin, savor it as I kiss and nibble a trail up her rising and falling breast.  Her inaudible moans caress my ears and urging me onwards.

I pause for a moment and look up at her, her head propped a little bit on the arm of the couch; her heavy lidded eyes watching me.  I return to the crest of her breast and take a dark brown nipple between my lips.  My teeth nip at the darker brown flesh, tugging it.  Anna’s eyes flutter open with a sharp gasp from her lips.  Her hands to go my hair, tugging at the red curls.

My own hands move down her sides, feeling her skin tremble with each excited gasp and softly caress the swell of her hip.  My tongue slides about the captured nub.  I can feel her body trembling and bucking beneath mine.  Anna’s soft sighs grow more insistent and louder as her fingers curl tighter in my red hair.

“God, oh God,” Anna gasps, her voice thick with passion and need, “stop teasing me, please, fuck me.”

I kiss my way down the tautness of her stomach.  I can feel it flutter beneath each heated touch of my lips as I slide between her splayed legs; one foot resting upon the floor, the other leg wrapped around my back, the foot resting atop me.  She has always been so lean and lanky.  I have a small little flutter of appreciative jealously at the fact that her metabolism always has keep her trim.  Yes, I am perseverating.  I know where this is going.  I’ve yearned and dreamed about doing this.

I lean up a bit, arching my back, resting my hands on the insides of her thighs, gently stroking the small cleft, feeling the muscles flutter.  Anna’s mound is puffy with excitement.  Her dark hair is trimmed into a nicely cropped line, pointing downwards to a pink slit.  I look up at Anna through the strands of my red hair.  I watch the rise and fall of her breasts; then her brown eyes, the pupils so very wide, so very dark.

I can smell her excitement as I near my lips to her tender garden.  I press upon her thighs and feel Anna arch her ass upwards a bit.  I extend my tongue and brush against the base of her slit, getting my first taste of the ambrosial flavor of her excitement.  I dip my tongue deeper into the well of her lust.  Anna’s building passions overwhelm my senses.  I can taste her on my tongue, feel the flutter of her petals, and smell her musk.

Anna purrs deeply.  It is throaty and thick with lust.  She gives my hair another sharp little tug that just urges me onwards.  My tongue flattens and parts her petals wider, sliding up the length of her slit.  My lips press against the fluttering folds, teasing her bud from hiding.  I capture it with my mouth and suckle it, eliciting a sharp gasp from Anna.  Two of my slender fingers gently caresses the length of her slit, before sliding into her vaginal passage.  I can feel the heat and the arousal as she squeezes me tightly.

Anna’s hips begin to rock and buck slightly as my fingers begin to pump slowly between her legs.  My fingers slick with her arousal as I savor the feel of her silky folds fluttering about my thrust.  My teeth lightly nip at her clit and then my tongue presses against it as I continue to keep my mouth tight against her mound.  Anna’s fingers rake through my hair, pressing my face tighter between her legs, tighter against her bucking hips.

Anna’s cries fill the room, “Oh God Cuylie, Ohoh Oh God Cuylieeeee!”

I can’t answer her.  I don’t want to stop to do so, but Anna wouldn’t have let me.  I can only urge her onwards.  Her thighs clamp down against my head as she twists herself about my thrusting fingers.  I continue to keep my mouth tight against her pussy, suckling on her stiffening clit.  I can feel her warmth and wetness against my face and neck as she heaves and screams.  Her passion, her beautiful, gorgeous passion flows outward from her.

I ride through the tempest, devouring her storm and cresting the waves of her release.  As she stills, I place little kisses along her thigh and atop her mound.  I then slide back up the length of her body, letting Anna curl her leg about my thighs and kiss her with the same passion and hunger I used to bring her to explosion.  I let her taste her sweet juices as I press my lips to hers.  I capture her little whimpers, her little sighs with my mouth.

Anna suddenly grabs me about the waist and flips me around on the couch as we continue our kiss.  Her hands go from my side to my hips and swivels me about in a sitting position.  She makes a little growl as she begins to ravage my mouth again and kneels on the floor before the couch.  Her hands slide down the length of my legs, gripping them tightly and drawing them open.  She parts me, her torso pushing my hips upward, pinning the rest of me against the back of the couch.

Her hands clutch my calves tightly, my ass is turned up as she has myself opened and bared to her hunger.  I see something on Anna’s face I have never seen before, uncertainty.  She bites her lower lip, looking towards me, as I lay there bent double in her grasp.  My knees pressed against my shoulders, my breasts heaving against my thighs.
 
I hold back a little giggle, my voice kind of caught in a breathy whisper, “Anna, it’s ok,” my green eyes look to hers, reassuring, “you can’t hurt me, I want this, I need this,”  my voice catches, thick, “you…you don’t have to do this.”

Anna makes a decision.  I can see it in her eyes.  The resolve, the need and the lust.  This is the point where I should describe the sights and the sounds.  The way Anna pressed her lips against my red haired mound.  How her licks were tentative and delicate and first, then more insistent and frantic.  How her tongue pressed inside of me.  Or the sight of her dark skin against my pale flesh.  Or the way she kept my legs apart as she licked at my moist slit.  Or her response to her first real taste of another woman.  

I can’t.  I lost my mind.  It was a fire that was building inside of me, burning between my legs with a pleasurable tingle.  With the touch of Anna’s tongue, I lose control, I lose all sense of myself.  The tingle turns into a fire that erupts through me.  Waves of pleasure cause me to rock and squirm.  I know I was screaming.  I had to be, there was no way I could contain what I felt inside of me.  I feel it overwhelm my rational thought as I just let go of a decade of pent up desire, hopes, and need.  It leaves me in a rush of tears, of mindless mewling, and sweet juices as I buck and heave beneath Anna’s hungry mouth.

It takes a while for me to come to my senses, when I do, Anna is curled up against me.  Her lithe body, slick with sweat is pressed against me.  Her lips kiss at my eyes, kissing at the tears.  My hands just cling to her, pulling me closer as her hands roam my skin lightly with soft soothing touches.  I can’t stop trembling.  I can’t stop the quaver, the hope in my voice.

“I love you.  I don’t want this to end.”

Anna looks at me with a kindness in her eyes and compassion in her heart; her hand gently brushes away a tear that falls down my cheek.

The End

I apologize.  I know this is abrupt, but I don’t want this moment to go away.  It is so very fragile and delicate, it would be so easy to break.  It needs all the protection that I can give it, so, with that thought this is a perfect place to leave it.

[Cuylie]

Also, if you, um happen to read this. I was really torn on the idea of placing these ideas all in one post, or making them separate posts. If you read this, feel free to make your thoughts known on this matter.

[RP_RICK]

Wow Cuylie.. Just wow... The power of your narrative... The descriptions, the sensuality, that exposition of you, your passion... The way you gave that build-up, teasin, almost taunting us.. This was an amazing trip. Thank you so so much for this share. It shows how deep from within you it came.