My dark times

[Drek]

Thousand and one death


Thousand and one death,
not enough for one in my soul...
I died every thursty day,
every hungry night,
one death,
for each day,
from my X years...
And the moisture in the air,
my poor tears,
condensate,
evaporate out of me,
and they run away from me... thick black under my eyes,
cracks left and right on my face,
fossil,
leftover,
ancient dry being, weeds,
dried through the years, dying...
From times i'm not human,
death,
nonlife...
I started to hate... to hate a lot, from the bottom of my soul.
I hated birth,
my birth,
my first day,
my first night,
i hated everything from the begining... i hate this far,
i will hate to the end... i will hate more, i will hate the most...
and after death i will leave only hatred... and after my... death, far more than yours,
i will still hate... there will be no end, there will be no death,
for this hatred.
Drunk and sick,
i sank in agony,
i become pain's salve,
locked inside a psychotic room in my head,
in the chaos of my mind,
and only one picture before my eyes,
you... dead
I got up,
NOTHING...
I had a romace with the darkness,
and we gave birth to hatred... i started to feed her.. with memories... 
with the kindness dead inside me... with the last warm atoms inside me.
And instead of memory of happy days,
just holes... holes without bottom... catacombs in my chest,
there is nothing pleasant inside me...
My blood is dark ink,
cheap and poisonous matter,
i pour out of my hands,
from my head,
every day with new bottle full of bitterness,
i kill my liver,
i fold the seconds of my heart... i hate to live... i hate...
And i hate... Celebrations,
I beseech the pranksters,
their souls full of life,
i hated their ignorance,
the ignorance of my damned existance... i am contempt of the contempt...
Thousand and one death,
for one avarage human life of witnesing,
not enough for one in my soul...
One more sick than the others,
you two died before me,
the most valuable lump in my heart got ripped,
my love got carried away by black birds... forever in no return.
You died and what was ours inside you...
Thousand and one death,
without my soul,
can hell be my heaven,
and can heaven be my hell,
when my soul died...
Can the wind spread life,
when i lost faith...
Can the dream stop the pain,
when reality extinguished my hopes...
Thousand and one death,
not enough for one in my soul...

[Tantrum]

Hi Dre, I have to say that I love all your poems, that dark tone is so heavy that turns into something beautiful, really good my friend!

[Drek]

Thank you Tantrum, i'm glad you like my poems, for reasons irl i decided not to share anymore for now but i might change my mind, this is the latest one i wrote few days ago and the last one i share for now.

I keep you


Eagles and filthy birds,
ripping my flesh,
devils and dark creatures,
ripping my bones,
they didn't leave anything from me...
Digging deep under my skin,
all of my organs they reversed,
greedily they grind my strength,
like they haven't seen a corpse on two feet before,
like they haven't tasted flesh before,
like they haven't drank blood before...
And they haven't ate flesh before,
and they haven't drank blood before,
at least not human's blood... at least not from their own kin...
They didn't drain the human's strength,
they didn't gnawed the human bones,
they didn't rip the human's eyes... they didn't cut their own...
Human's pain was tasty for them,
someone's sadness and misery,
death is tasty for them... that's how they are,
the scavengers,
filthy freaks of hell,
they are humans for god's sake... humans, goddamned tribe of inhuman...
And let them peck and let them drink the blood,
with all that addiction I hope they poison themselves,
to be their last feast,
let them take my eyes,
in their throats to stop and choke them,
and from the not shed tears to die...
I will look at you without my eyes,
i will love you without my mouth,
nor strength i need to be yours,
nor blood i need to be warm for you,
nor eyes to watch,
nor mouth to speak,
but my soul to be full,
my soul, my love,
to be full for you...
They cannot touch you,
and rip your flesh,
even if they penetrate my heart,
no evil will touch you...
I keep you in a clew of my soul, my love,
more pure than the beginning,
inside me I keep you pure,
my eternal love,
in my soul you will be.... 

[Drek]

Decided to share 3 more of my poems here is the first:


Again

Again,
the erythrocytes,
poisoned in wine... heat in the stomach,
the alcohol burns morbidly...
The head empty,
there is no sensibility inside it...
the brain is poisoned in sea of alcohol...
Like a dead body in the middle of an ocean,
the mind floats in alcohol,
floats and loses contact with the body...
Again,
the bed is bitter again,
a picture of you,
and vomits around... the evil speaks instead of my heart...
Again,
in the holes,
alone,
I hide from God...
I'm hitting,
but the wall strikes back bloodily,
it's stronger than me...
The courage and determination,
don't have patience for my stupid appearance,
they can't stand me anymore...
Sunken alcoholic,
addicted to the true alcoholic agony,
hooked to delirium,
i drink desperation...
Again,
again i consume various chemicals,
so that my heart cannot say a word,
again i leave,
to lose you...
I don't deserve to love you,
no... you are too pure,
to be tainted from my love,
from my nest of sins...
Again,
again I leave you,
to only be a memory,
just a memory... pure memory...
I kiss Lucifer's hand,
and go into the darkness...

[Drek]

Don't look at me with the eyes


Take and destroy,
proud and selfish Gorgon,
freeze the place under my throat,
cut the knot inside my chest,
let me die,
let me find comfort between the clouds,
to melt in the roots,
to become nothingness,
inside the core of the earth...
Don't look at me with the eyes,
Close your eyes before my,
so that I cannot see the evil entity inside you,
the very opposite being,
from what I keep inside me...
Daughter of the fallen divinity and shame,
deep inside my body a stone you leave,
leave me without gaze,
to roll on the dirt,
to say my last,
and with a lot of blood,
to forget you...
If only your soul was warm,
like the warmth on your thighs,
your name would go far,
morbid contempt and silence...
Freeze my soul,
I will write about you cursed woman,
daughter of ancient demons,
i will write about you cursed woman,
i died with you in lust and destruction,
i poisoned my soul in your bed...
You don't have a light in your eyes,
but a vile stone entity,
you steal the most valuable from a man,
and leave ashes to burry him...
Take me and make me become a stone,
make this body inside,
so i cannot feel sickness inside,
not a word to let out of anger,
nor to make revenge on you,
to kill my self inside,
and your evil towards me,
more sacred for me than God...