Write your worst sex scene

[TwoToneRebel]

Everyone tries to do their very best, and this post is no different. But this time, try to be the best at being the worst. Write a really bad sex scene. I'll go first since I made the thread.

She laid back, her boobies flopping all over the place. Nick stared hungrily, his schlong beginning to get hard. To speed up the process without the use of viagra or cialis, he began to paw at her titties. Absentmindedly playing with them and pushing them together and around. Eventually he decided to taste them and like a baby trying to survive he fit as much into his mouth as possible.
By this point his meat scepter was at full mast at an incredible five inches. Joanna slapped it playfully through his pants since she could finally see it.
"Oooh, nice boner," she said.
"There's more where that came from honeybunches," Nick solemnly replied, as he retrieved his pee-pee from the confines of his sweatpants. Immediately she licked it like a dog eating an icecream cone - sloppy, wet, and honestly disgusting to watch. Nick threw his head back with pleasure and since his mouth was hanging open at the same time, he was drooling all over his chest.
Eventually Nick got tired of the slopjob, and he laid on top of her, wrapping his arms around her.
"Is your kitty ready for my magnum dong?" he asked, smirking.
"Just perform sexual intercourse already with me," she pleaded, tongue hanging out and eyes drooping.
With that, he put his thingy inside of her thingy, and they started going at it. There were grunts, and skin and hands and breasts, there might have been other people involved, no one knows.
Eventually, they had finished and collapsed to the bed.
"That was pretty radical bro," she told him.
"Real ninja shit homie," Nick replied, throwing his hands up like a gangster.

[Simple Tania]

LOOOOOOOOL OMG...That...was...awesome, you made me laugh so much, bro *grins*

She burst into the room, shouting and shutting the door, "That Son of a bitch!" she yelled. Lying in bed, wearing only a t-shirt and a tiny pink panties, Veronica, looked at her. "What's the matter, sweeter?" Only then, she did noticed her roommate, "That pig! Do you believe the bastard screwed that...that... slut?" Veronica got up and hugged her, and then, Tara noticed that she was clearly drunk. "Oh, I'm so sorry, what are you going to do?" Tara put her head on her shoulder and cried ... and cried. Veronica comforted her, but the ingested alcohol was obscuring her reasoning and ... also her balance, and then, almost in slow-motion manner (or so it seemed), the two of them fell on the bed. Veronica laughed uncontrollably, seriously, she practically burst out laughing, Tara tried everything, but the truth, is that her friend's laughter was making her laugh and then ... suddenly, she not even know why, Tara kissed her friend, the smell of peppermint and the vodka, combined with all the pain she was feeling, inebriated her and the kiss lingered. Both of them were not well aware of the motives, one being so pissed about her bf treason and the other because, well, because she was totally drunk, and so things went to another level. Needless to say, none of them knew what they were doing, and then, that little sexual act(?) ended quickly, some kisses, some licks, some moan noises, clothes flying, mouths in the thingy, the thingy in the mouth, and ... Veronica, throwing up, abundantly. Finally, Tara stopped it, grabbed her friend and tucked her in the shower, before closing the door, she said, "I would told you to forget this, but I don't think you'll remember anything, Thank God for that"

PS. As a matter of fact, Veronica remembered, a few days later, the conversation between the two was embarrassing and the relationship between them was never the same, ended a few weeks later, when Veronica moved to another dormitory.