Detective of secrets - Printable Version +- MNF Club Forums (https://www.mnfclub.com/forum) +-- Forum: Forums (https://www.mnfclub.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Creative writing (https://www.mnfclub.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Thread: Detective of secrets (/showthread.php?tid=597) |
Detective of secrets - Laertes1 - 03-14-2016 Reid Bailley, private eye. The year was 1960 and the weather was hot. my oscillating fan did no justice but rid me of it for a bit. A client walked in, a tall redhead dame. Said her name was Louise. "My husband has been acting strange lately" she said. "I'm obviously a hot piece of work but i get no action." "even on his days off". "Find out what he's up to Dick." I obliged and the price was right. $500 would get my car repaired the way i liked it. So i went to Mr. Sinovian's house, after hours. I wasn't surprised to see a little hanky panky. But to this day have i not seen a sight like this. A tall Black Haired Vixen was standing behind him, in a dominant position. I had heard about this, but i thought it only happened in France. Although New York wasn't much different, in ways. She was shoving some sort of object into his............derrriere. I know, it took me a while to get used to it. I looked closer and the situation got a tad worse. It was a fireplace blower. you know, those things that kind of resemble blow fish used to put a fire out. She was jammin it up his rear and pushing down lightly. He seemed to be enjoying it. Case Closed Mrs. Sinovian" i said the next day. "Or should i call you Louise." Your hubby's into something tentatively known as buttplay. Likely got it from France after toking up on barbituates. Now miss, i know between you and me we are sensible people, but it didn't seem to be doing any harm. "oh my, i thought he was having an affair. HOw can you have an affair with your own butthole?" How can you, indeed, Mrs. Sinovian.......... (P.S. this is my first fanfic i've written in awhile, I welcome CONSTRUCTIVE criticism thanks) RE: Detective of secrets - Cath - 03-14-2016 Hello dear! My name is Cath, I do like stories and yours was pretty good. I write some novels in French but I'm sure I'm legit to make a critic. Your story was interesting, I got hooked up, but... I'm fond of details and scenery. If you could make more of them, it'll be great. Well, it's my personal view but at least it's constructive... A bit... RE: Detective of secrets - DarkXtecy - 03-15-2016 lol OMG bro..that was awesome and funny i loved it...but yes like Cath (aka Miss Neko) said more details would be awesome...i know you got more so am looking forward for it XD RE: Detective of secrets - Laertes1 - 03-15-2016 sweet thanks dudes. i'm pretty sure most of my stories will use the "private eye" module and yes much more detail will be arriving CBM. ! Ass play is likely a feature as it's "taboo" for a large number of men but shouldn't be! as is if you hit the g spot around the prostate you have the most awesome orgasm of your life! /^^\ RE: Detective of secrets - IvanXLIV - 03-15-2016 Hello Laertes, I LOVE the narrative framing of this first installment! It has both a "classic P.I" feel and humorous undertones... Consider myself hooked! Cheers, Ivan P.S. I don't mind buttplay, especially if it's a device used to propel the story forward - just don't make an ass of yourself RE: Detective of secrets - Simple Tania - 03-15-2016 Hey Laertes...very good indeed, love the narrative (yes, need more details to make us emphasize with the character), love the amused tone you used and although short, the main ingredients were there, congratulations my dear...and presents us with more! Cath, I will love to read with your novels, please...SHARE WITH US! RE: Detective of secrets - Laertes1 - 03-15-2016 I have a vacation coming (cumming) up but i do have at least one more in the works. so on/around 25/26 is when the next comes out. Many thanks. Most of my work will have the P.I. private dick bc i dig that style. |